The PLAYOFFS??!! Edition

Ohhhhhhh Yeah!  The time is coming.  That special time of year when friends and family gather together to give thanks for all that they have received over the past year.  But not for us, some of us have Playoffs to think about and no time for that being with family crap.  So this week I am going to do a brief recap of last weeks games in a seperate post and then a look into what each team needs to do to secure a playoff position or knock someone out of one.  So by all means lets get started!

Lions (9-2) 1623.98                Final Games:  Steelers, DaBears

The Lions as of right now have the #1 seed for the playoffs, have secured their place in the playoffs, and a win in the next two games will give him a week 1 bye.  If he is able to win this week it will give him a measurable amount of power by possibly being able to decide whether to win or throw his last game to adjust the seeding.


Titans (8-3) 1568.46               Final Games:  49ers, Assassins


I have already been awarded a seed in the playoffs, but I have a couple of pivotal games coming up.  If I win this week I will claim the first week bye, if not I will have to defeat the Assassins next week in order to do so.

DaBears (8-3) 1421.82         Final Games:  Decapitators, Lions

DaBears already have a spot in the playoffs,  In order to get a first week bye he would need the Lions to lose at least a game and he would have to win out.  He could have his fate in his own hands if he wins this week, because he ends the Season playing the Lions.  If they have the same record it would come down to points.

ArrowHeads(7-4) 1508.36        Final:  Packers, Decapitators 


Arrowheads are sitting at the #4 seed right now and needs to continue to win in order to hold his place.  He has the Packers, Steelers, and Decapitators right behind him trying to take over his spot.  In order to get a first week bye he needs the Lions and Dabears to lose out and he needs to win out.  Not to mention he would still have to outscore them in points for the year.

49ers (7-4) 1370.82                  Final Games:  Titans, Brawlers


49ers as of now have the #5 seed.  He has the chance to win the first week bye if he wins out and the Titans lose out or if the Titans lose one and win one, and the 49ers are able to outscore them in points for the year.  But right now he just needs to concentrate on winning with having the Packers, Steelers, and Decapitators all trying to knock him out of his spot.

Packers (6-5) 1572.48          Final Games: Arrowheads, Steelers


The Packers who started off white hot at the beginning of the year currently find themselves in the last slot for the playoffs.  The Packers don't have a chance to get a first week bye and will be fighting to keep their spot over the next two weeks going up against two teams who are both in need of wins.

Steelers (5-6) 1418.04          Final Games: Lions, Packers


There are a few ways for the Steelers to make it into the playoffs (even though they should have already been eliminated).  One way is for him to win out, 49ers or Arrowheads lose out, and to have more points on  the year than one of them.  The easiest route for him is for the Packers to lose at least one game and for him to win and outscore him on points for the year.  But with the Steelers already being 160 points behind the Packers it is better for him to just win out and the Packers to lose out.

Decapitators (5-6)             Final Games: DaBears, Arrowheads


Can't believe I am even writing that the Decapitators are still playoff eligible, but they still are.  After a miserable start to the season the Decapitators have managed to battle back and might make some noise in the playoff race.  The Decapitators are in the same position as the Steelers but have better points for the year.  They need Arrowheads or 49ers to lose out and they need to win out.  Easiest though would be for the Packers to lose and to take their #6 seed.

Patriots (4-7) 1347.52           Final Games: Assassins, Chiefs


Yes, believe it or not 9th place in the league is not too far out to come back and make the playoffs.  The Patriots have to win out, they need the Packers to lose out and she has to outscore the Packers for points on the year.  Also she can't have the Steelers or Decapitators winning either one of their games.

Chiefs (3-8) 1236.78            Final Games: Brawlers, Patriots

The Chiefs have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs and this week game is probably to see who can suck worse, but he could play spoiler next week if the Patriots still have a shot at the playoffs.

Bear Down Brawlers (3-8)    Final Games: Chiefs, 49ers 
Another contender for next year, the Brawlers will probably try to lose this week.  But will definitely have an opportunity to knock the 49ers out of the playoffs next week.

 Gridiron Assassins (1-10)      Final Games: Patriots, Titans
Has the potential to effect the playoffs in the next couple of weeks and possibly still can, but it would help if he would put in a starting line-up.


The Golden Plunger
It has been brought to my attention that the golden plunger has become so coveted that it should be offered as the prize for winning the Toilet Bowl and not awarded to last place.  
Let me know what you think we should do with it.  Leave a comment below or text me and let me know.


As always good luck to everyone this and Go Titans!!
Turkey, Turkey, Turkey

Thank God for Illegal Motion

Last week the slate of games were important ones for a lot of people, but others have already given up hope and started planning for next year.  As usual lets start out with the Blowout of the Week.  This weeks blowout goes to the Patriots.  I believe this is Amy's first time winning BOTW, but going against the Brawlers which is already playing for first pick in next years draft, that isn't saying much.  Next week the Patriots take on the Assassins and the Brawlers will play the Chiefs.  (which is my pick for Toilet Bowl Champion.)  Next we had the Lions and Packers.  I thought the Pack had the Lions beat in this one, but the Gronk brought him back in Monday nights game.  Lions play the Steelers and the Packers play the Arrowheads.  Now with what I thought should have been the nail biter of the week,  Titans Vs Chiefs.  I dont know if anybody watched Monday nights game, I didn't because I had already conceded and figured that there was no way Aaron Hernandez wouldn't score at least 9 points against the Chiefs.  So I played Skyrim instead.  When I went to bed I caught the last three minutes of the game and checked my score.  Patriots were dominating and somehow I was still up by 4 points.  2nd and goal with about 43 secs on the clock Hernandez catches a touchdown and I feel like puking.  But wait, what's this?  Illegal motion on the Offense.  Fuck yeah!!!   Titans play the 49ers and the Chiefs play Brawlers.

I'm sorry, correction The Decapitators got BOTW against the Steelers.  In what was a crucial game for the Steelers to continue to be a strong contender for the playoffs, the Decapitators absolutely crushed him.  Steelers still have a shot against the Lions and the Decapitators can also still make a run for it against DaBears.  (Holy shit, how is that even possible!)  The 49ers defeated the Assassins by 10  in a game which if the Assassins had actually put in a roster probably would have crushed the 49ers.  49ers play the Titans and the Assassins take on the Patriots.  Finally we have the true Nail Biter of the Week DaBears Vs Arrowheads.  In what was a critical division game between these two it came down to Monday night.  With DaBears holding about a 20 point lead, the Arrowheads had Dwayne Bowe and Derrick Johnson going into Monday night.  But with the one sided score in the actual game his players were only able to bring it within 42 hundredths of a point.  Now here is my warning and it has happened before. On Tuesday night the NFL can issue Stat corrections and that can possibly change the outcome of this fantasy game.  All the Arrowheads need is half a tackle from Johnson and he would win.  So keep an eye on this one.

Good luck to everyone this week and keep an eye out for the playoff edition coming out later this week.      

The Quick and Dirty Edition

I've got midterms this week so we're going to make this one quick and dirty with just a couple of observations and then moving on to the next game .  Thomas got the blowout of the week against myself and of course his team picks this week to put up nearly 200 points.  The decapitators pull off the upset against the 49ers with his DL scoring him nearly 20 points!  The Lions snuff out the Chiefs and also loose Vick for probably the playoffs (Can you say Tebow Time?).  The packers take care of the Assassins, though Jay's defense did put up 38 points (WTF?).   DaBears take down the Brawlers but also possibly loose Stafford for some time.  Your nail-biter of the week was Patriots vs Steelers which Amy would have been won if she had just started the kicker on her bench but alas she didn't and Fetter play-off hopes stay on life support.  Thanks Amy (SMH).  Remember the trade deadline has already passed, we have Thursday night games now, and believe it or not there are some that still haven't payed their league dues.  If this is you pay them before the league decides to take mob justice on your ass.  Good luck everyone except... (who do i play this week?)  The Chiefs!


By the way everyone go ahead and mark May 4th on your calenders because I'm graduating Bitches!  And as Commissioner I am declaring marshal law and requiring everyone in the league to give presents , I mean attend.  Just kidding, though I would love everyone to come out and scream their asses off for me and remember airhorns are perfectly acceptable in public arenas.

Quick and Dirty Edition

I've got midterms this week so we're going to make this one quick and dirty with just a couple of observations and then moving on to the next game .  Thomas got the blowout of the week against myself and of course his team picks this week to put up nearly 200 points.  The decapitators pull off the upset against the 49ers with his DL scoring him nearly 20 points!  The Lions snuff out the Chiefs and also loose Vick for probably the playoffs (Can you say Tebow Time?).  The packers take care of the Assassins, though Jay's defense did put up 38 points (WTF?).   DaBears take down the Brawlers but also possibly loose Stafford for some time.  Your nail-biter of the week was Patriots vs Steelers which Amy would have been won if she had just started the kicker on her bench but alas she didn't and Fetter play-off hopes stay on life support.  Thanks Amy (SMH).  Remember the trade deadline has already passed, we have Thursday night games now, and believe it or not there are some that still haven't payed their league dues.  If this is you pay them before the league decides to take mob justice on your ass.  Good luck everyone except... (who do i play this week?)  The Chiefs!


By the way everyone go ahead and mark May 4th on your calenders because I'm graduating Bitches!  And as Commissioner I am declaring marshal law and requiring everyone in the league to give presents , I mean attend.  Just kidding, though I would love everyone to come out and scream their asses off for me and remember airhorns are perfectly acceptable in public arenas.

The Sun Shines On Dog's Ass Every Once and a While, But Atlanta Will Only Play Indy Once This Year

Wow what a depressing weekend.  The only upside is that I got about 10 ricks of wood split.  The Titans which looked good in the first half played like garbage in the second and in fantasy I got to play against Fetter the week Atlanta took on Indy.  But more about that later.  As far as the picture, it's just a joke, I don't think it's that bad yet.  Maybe somebody should be on stand-by to talk me off the ledge if we don't start winning soon though.  Enough BS let s get to it.

DaBears Vs Gridiron Assassins           (Blowout of the Week)


A lot of Blowouts this week, but I believe this might be the Blowout win by the largest margin of victory so far.  Dabears crushed the Assassins by nearly 80 points.  By the way I don't believe Jay will be back next year, so start getting your recommendations ready for who you want to replace him.  (I hear Tino is available)  Next week DaBears hopefully get a better challenge out of the Brawlers and the Packers will get a win against the Assassins.  (When do I play Jay again?)

Lions Vs Patriots 


Boy the smack talk was flying at my house on Sunday between Amy and Scott.  It looked like Amy might have had a shot to win until about halfway through the 4 o'clock games and that's when her players started working against her.  Producing 0 and even negative points.  From there the Lions took the lead and didn't look back.  Though I think after this week we might be seeing a few chinks in the 1st and 2nd place team's armor. Next week the Lions take on the Chiefs and the Patriots look to avenge her husband against the Steelers.

Bear Down Brawlers Vs Arrowheads


This match-up was a contender for Blowout of the Week but fell short of that goal.  In a week where the Brawlers were suffering from injuries and Bye week problems, the Arrowheads easily defeated him, with nearly season high numbers out of Romo and Foster.  Lets hope they can be better contained next week when the Arrowheads take on the Titans.  As the Bear Down Brawlers look for redemption against DaBears.

Decapitators Vs. Chiefs


Here was another contender for blowout of the week though I thought the scores would be switched in the Chiefs favor for this one.  The Decapitators managed to get nearly a 40 point win over the Chiefs, with a team that has him in contention for the golden plunger by sitting at (3-6).  It boggles the the mind where this team came from, so I'm going to chalk it up to "Solar flares bouncing off of the moon, disturbing the earth's magnetic fields,which upset the natural balance of what is fantasy football" and move on.  The Decapitators will take on the 49ers next week and the Chiefs look for a win (or to take one step closer to Toilet Bowl) against the Lions.

Packers Vs 49ers


This week the 49ers made a statement game for their determination to make the playoffs.  By Rivers and VJax putting up numbers we are more accustomed to and Willis McGahee putting up numbers that we didn't even know he could count to, the 49ers almost managed to put up nearly 200 points this week.  We dont't expect 49ers to continue to put up these kind of numbers but  it must be a relief to Patrick that they can.  Next week the Packers should get an easy win against the Assassins and 49ers will look to keep it going against the Decapitators.

Titans Vs Steelers                  (Nail Biter of the Week)


This one really wasn't much of a nail biter, it was pretty much over after the 4 o clock games Sunday.  Ray Rice and Robbie Gould just made it look closer than it really was.  Sad thing is that I should have won this one and if Atlanta didn't play the fucking Colts then I probably would have.  But alas the Falcons set some season highs last week and Fetter started three of their players.  Oh well a broken clock is even right twice a day.  The Titans look to redeem themselves against the Arrowheads and the Steelers look to stay playoff relevant against the Patriots.  ( I need a Beer!)



As a last note would like to remind everyone that the trade deadline is Friday, so get those proposals out there.  Also this week starts the Thursday night games, so everyone but Thomas be sure to get your line-ups in.  The Titans play the Panthers Sunday which is pivotal game to see if we can keep hope alive or start a downward spiral towards a (5-11) season let's hope for the former.  Anyways I'll chopping wood again Saturday if anyone would like to come help and as always good luck this week.

Haters Gonna to Hate...

     Apparently the best way to put a target on your back is to make that target a  #1.  I didn't realize that someone many people were drinking the Haterade.  But at least I know I must be doing something right to garner so much hate.  I can't blame you all though, I'd hate too if the roles were reversed.  Apparently though a lot of people are looking to get trades done before the deadline, but people aren't willing to meet in the middle in order to get a deal done.  I can't believe Todd is on a winning streak and sitting at 5-2 and our Super Bowl Chump is going to struggle to make the playoffs.  PLAYOFFS?!?!  Speaking of which, I was thinking about writing a playoff issue discussing what each team needed to do over the next few weeks in order to get a seed.  Let me know what you all think about it in the comments bellow.  Enough talking let's get into it.

Lions Vs Decapitators.        (Blowout of the Week)

    A couple more of these and were going to start calling it the Feldman trophy.  That or the whoever plays Johnny this week trophy.  (sorry Johnny couldn't resist). The Lions were back this week from there bye week trouble and were looking to lay the smack down.  Well the smack hath been laid.  The Lions look to continue winning next week against the Patriots.  While the Decapitators  look to get back into it against the Chiefs.

Bear Down Brawlers Vs Titans

     The streak continues and so shall I.  Titans take on the Steelers next week and the Brawlers have a playoff relevant game against the Arrowheads.

Packers Vs DaBears

     DaBears got a gift in this weeks game since the Greenbay Packers were on bye.  Which meant half of the Packers team was on a bye and they still managed to keep a close game. Brandon have you thought about what your going to do if Green Bay end upsitting their starters toward the end of the season?  (Ahh Shit!) The (Fudge)Packers play the 49ers next week and DaBears should have another easy game against the Gridiron Assassins.

Patriots Vs 49ers
     Holy Crap!  36 points from Detroit's Defense.  There's not much else here.  The bigger part of Amy's win was Patrick's team didn't even show up.  The 49ers had a chance going into Monday Night, but with San Diego getting manhandled by the Chiefs it killed all hopes that Patrick had.  The Patriots have a tough match-up against the Lions and the 49ers will take on the Packers.

Steelers Vs Arrowheads      (Nail-Biter of the Week)


     The Steelers almost pulled this one off.  If he had been able to get a respectable game out of Miles Austin he could have had a chance of winning.  But alas he didn't and now he sits at 3-5 with hopes of the playoffs slowly slipping away.  The Arrowheads had a pretty good game out of most of his team especially that Titans Defense putting up 20 points for him. (That's Right)  The Steelers look to keep their playoff hopes alive next week against the Titans and the Arrowheads look to keep it rolling against the Brawlers.

Chiefs Vs Gridiron Assassins 


     Just when you think the Assassins have given up for the season he steps in and finally makes some roster moves.  Unfortunately even with the moves it still didn't pay off and the Assassins lost.  Maybe if he had paid more attention to the fact that Addai was out and Philly's Steve Smith sucks he would have had more of a chance.  At least he's making an effort.  It didn't help though that the Bills Defense put up 34 points for the Chiefs.  The Chiefs will face-off against the Decapitators and the Assassins will try their luck against DaBears.

      The Football Season is halfway over, the fantasy season is even further along than that.  Even the fantasy  playoffs are starting take shape.  Not to mention that I graduate in 42 days!  Ohhhh excitement is in the air and things are starting to come together.  Who will go to the playoffs  and who will take home the coveted Golden Plunger?  My money is on Jay but it's still a wide open race.  Who gets your vote to take home the Golden Plunger?  Good luck Everyone!