The PLAYOFFS??!! Edition

Ohhhhhhh Yeah!  The time is coming.  That special time of year when friends and family gather together to give thanks for all that they have received over the past year.  But not for us, some of us have Playoffs to think about and no time for that being with family crap.  So this week I am going to do a brief recap of last weeks games in a seperate post and then a look into what each team needs to do to secure a playoff position or knock someone out of one.  So by all means lets get started!

Lions (9-2) 1623.98                Final Games:  Steelers, DaBears

The Lions as of right now have the #1 seed for the playoffs, have secured their place in the playoffs, and a win in the next two games will give him a week 1 bye.  If he is able to win this week it will give him a measurable amount of power by possibly being able to decide whether to win or throw his last game to adjust the seeding.


Titans (8-3) 1568.46               Final Games:  49ers, Assassins


I have already been awarded a seed in the playoffs, but I have a couple of pivotal games coming up.  If I win this week I will claim the first week bye, if not I will have to defeat the Assassins next week in order to do so.

DaBears (8-3) 1421.82         Final Games:  Decapitators, Lions

DaBears already have a spot in the playoffs,  In order to get a first week bye he would need the Lions to lose at least a game and he would have to win out.  He could have his fate in his own hands if he wins this week, because he ends the Season playing the Lions.  If they have the same record it would come down to points.

ArrowHeads(7-4) 1508.36        Final:  Packers, Decapitators 


Arrowheads are sitting at the #4 seed right now and needs to continue to win in order to hold his place.  He has the Packers, Steelers, and Decapitators right behind him trying to take over his spot.  In order to get a first week bye he needs the Lions and Dabears to lose out and he needs to win out.  Not to mention he would still have to outscore them in points for the year.

49ers (7-4) 1370.82                  Final Games:  Titans, Brawlers


49ers as of now have the #5 seed.  He has the chance to win the first week bye if he wins out and the Titans lose out or if the Titans lose one and win one, and the 49ers are able to outscore them in points for the year.  But right now he just needs to concentrate on winning with having the Packers, Steelers, and Decapitators all trying to knock him out of his spot.

Packers (6-5) 1572.48          Final Games: Arrowheads, Steelers


The Packers who started off white hot at the beginning of the year currently find themselves in the last slot for the playoffs.  The Packers don't have a chance to get a first week bye and will be fighting to keep their spot over the next two weeks going up against two teams who are both in need of wins.

Steelers (5-6) 1418.04          Final Games: Lions, Packers


There are a few ways for the Steelers to make it into the playoffs (even though they should have already been eliminated).  One way is for him to win out, 49ers or Arrowheads lose out, and to have more points on  the year than one of them.  The easiest route for him is for the Packers to lose at least one game and for him to win and outscore him on points for the year.  But with the Steelers already being 160 points behind the Packers it is better for him to just win out and the Packers to lose out.

Decapitators (5-6)             Final Games: DaBears, Arrowheads


Can't believe I am even writing that the Decapitators are still playoff eligible, but they still are.  After a miserable start to the season the Decapitators have managed to battle back and might make some noise in the playoff race.  The Decapitators are in the same position as the Steelers but have better points for the year.  They need Arrowheads or 49ers to lose out and they need to win out.  Easiest though would be for the Packers to lose and to take their #6 seed.

Patriots (4-7) 1347.52           Final Games: Assassins, Chiefs


Yes, believe it or not 9th place in the league is not too far out to come back and make the playoffs.  The Patriots have to win out, they need the Packers to lose out and she has to outscore the Packers for points on the year.  Also she can't have the Steelers or Decapitators winning either one of their games.

Chiefs (3-8) 1236.78            Final Games: Brawlers, Patriots

The Chiefs have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs and this week game is probably to see who can suck worse, but he could play spoiler next week if the Patriots still have a shot at the playoffs.

Bear Down Brawlers (3-8)    Final Games: Chiefs, 49ers 
Another contender for next year, the Brawlers will probably try to lose this week.  But will definitely have an opportunity to knock the 49ers out of the playoffs next week.

 Gridiron Assassins (1-10)      Final Games: Patriots, Titans
Has the potential to effect the playoffs in the next couple of weeks and possibly still can, but it would help if he would put in a starting line-up.


The Golden Plunger
It has been brought to my attention that the golden plunger has become so coveted that it should be offered as the prize for winning the Toilet Bowl and not awarded to last place.  
Let me know what you think we should do with it.  Leave a comment below or text me and let me know.


As always good luck to everyone this and Go Titans!!
Turkey, Turkey, Turkey

Thank God for Illegal Motion

Last week the slate of games were important ones for a lot of people, but others have already given up hope and started planning for next year.  As usual lets start out with the Blowout of the Week.  This weeks blowout goes to the Patriots.  I believe this is Amy's first time winning BOTW, but going against the Brawlers which is already playing for first pick in next years draft, that isn't saying much.  Next week the Patriots take on the Assassins and the Brawlers will play the Chiefs.  (which is my pick for Toilet Bowl Champion.)  Next we had the Lions and Packers.  I thought the Pack had the Lions beat in this one, but the Gronk brought him back in Monday nights game.  Lions play the Steelers and the Packers play the Arrowheads.  Now with what I thought should have been the nail biter of the week,  Titans Vs Chiefs.  I dont know if anybody watched Monday nights game, I didn't because I had already conceded and figured that there was no way Aaron Hernandez wouldn't score at least 9 points against the Chiefs.  So I played Skyrim instead.  When I went to bed I caught the last three minutes of the game and checked my score.  Patriots were dominating and somehow I was still up by 4 points.  2nd and goal with about 43 secs on the clock Hernandez catches a touchdown and I feel like puking.  But wait, what's this?  Illegal motion on the Offense.  Fuck yeah!!!   Titans play the 49ers and the Chiefs play Brawlers.

I'm sorry, correction The Decapitators got BOTW against the Steelers.  In what was a crucial game for the Steelers to continue to be a strong contender for the playoffs, the Decapitators absolutely crushed him.  Steelers still have a shot against the Lions and the Decapitators can also still make a run for it against DaBears.  (Holy shit, how is that even possible!)  The 49ers defeated the Assassins by 10  in a game which if the Assassins had actually put in a roster probably would have crushed the 49ers.  49ers play the Titans and the Assassins take on the Patriots.  Finally we have the true Nail Biter of the Week DaBears Vs Arrowheads.  In what was a critical division game between these two it came down to Monday night.  With DaBears holding about a 20 point lead, the Arrowheads had Dwayne Bowe and Derrick Johnson going into Monday night.  But with the one sided score in the actual game his players were only able to bring it within 42 hundredths of a point.  Now here is my warning and it has happened before. On Tuesday night the NFL can issue Stat corrections and that can possibly change the outcome of this fantasy game.  All the Arrowheads need is half a tackle from Johnson and he would win.  So keep an eye on this one.

Good luck to everyone this week and keep an eye out for the playoff edition coming out later this week.      

The Quick and Dirty Edition

I've got midterms this week so we're going to make this one quick and dirty with just a couple of observations and then moving on to the next game .  Thomas got the blowout of the week against myself and of course his team picks this week to put up nearly 200 points.  The decapitators pull off the upset against the 49ers with his DL scoring him nearly 20 points!  The Lions snuff out the Chiefs and also loose Vick for probably the playoffs (Can you say Tebow Time?).  The packers take care of the Assassins, though Jay's defense did put up 38 points (WTF?).   DaBears take down the Brawlers but also possibly loose Stafford for some time.  Your nail-biter of the week was Patriots vs Steelers which Amy would have been won if she had just started the kicker on her bench but alas she didn't and Fetter play-off hopes stay on life support.  Thanks Amy (SMH).  Remember the trade deadline has already passed, we have Thursday night games now, and believe it or not there are some that still haven't payed their league dues.  If this is you pay them before the league decides to take mob justice on your ass.  Good luck everyone except... (who do i play this week?)  The Chiefs!


By the way everyone go ahead and mark May 4th on your calenders because I'm graduating Bitches!  And as Commissioner I am declaring marshal law and requiring everyone in the league to give presents , I mean attend.  Just kidding, though I would love everyone to come out and scream their asses off for me and remember airhorns are perfectly acceptable in public arenas.

Quick and Dirty Edition

I've got midterms this week so we're going to make this one quick and dirty with just a couple of observations and then moving on to the next game .  Thomas got the blowout of the week against myself and of course his team picks this week to put up nearly 200 points.  The decapitators pull off the upset against the 49ers with his DL scoring him nearly 20 points!  The Lions snuff out the Chiefs and also loose Vick for probably the playoffs (Can you say Tebow Time?).  The packers take care of the Assassins, though Jay's defense did put up 38 points (WTF?).   DaBears take down the Brawlers but also possibly loose Stafford for some time.  Your nail-biter of the week was Patriots vs Steelers which Amy would have been won if she had just started the kicker on her bench but alas she didn't and Fetter play-off hopes stay on life support.  Thanks Amy (SMH).  Remember the trade deadline has already passed, we have Thursday night games now, and believe it or not there are some that still haven't payed their league dues.  If this is you pay them before the league decides to take mob justice on your ass.  Good luck everyone except... (who do i play this week?)  The Chiefs!


By the way everyone go ahead and mark May 4th on your calenders because I'm graduating Bitches!  And as Commissioner I am declaring marshal law and requiring everyone in the league to give presents , I mean attend.  Just kidding, though I would love everyone to come out and scream their asses off for me and remember airhorns are perfectly acceptable in public arenas.

The Sun Shines On Dog's Ass Every Once and a While, But Atlanta Will Only Play Indy Once This Year

Wow what a depressing weekend.  The only upside is that I got about 10 ricks of wood split.  The Titans which looked good in the first half played like garbage in the second and in fantasy I got to play against Fetter the week Atlanta took on Indy.  But more about that later.  As far as the picture, it's just a joke, I don't think it's that bad yet.  Maybe somebody should be on stand-by to talk me off the ledge if we don't start winning soon though.  Enough BS let s get to it.

DaBears Vs Gridiron Assassins           (Blowout of the Week)


A lot of Blowouts this week, but I believe this might be the Blowout win by the largest margin of victory so far.  Dabears crushed the Assassins by nearly 80 points.  By the way I don't believe Jay will be back next year, so start getting your recommendations ready for who you want to replace him.  (I hear Tino is available)  Next week DaBears hopefully get a better challenge out of the Brawlers and the Packers will get a win against the Assassins.  (When do I play Jay again?)

Lions Vs Patriots 


Boy the smack talk was flying at my house on Sunday between Amy and Scott.  It looked like Amy might have had a shot to win until about halfway through the 4 o'clock games and that's when her players started working against her.  Producing 0 and even negative points.  From there the Lions took the lead and didn't look back.  Though I think after this week we might be seeing a few chinks in the 1st and 2nd place team's armor. Next week the Lions take on the Chiefs and the Patriots look to avenge her husband against the Steelers.

Bear Down Brawlers Vs Arrowheads


This match-up was a contender for Blowout of the Week but fell short of that goal.  In a week where the Brawlers were suffering from injuries and Bye week problems, the Arrowheads easily defeated him, with nearly season high numbers out of Romo and Foster.  Lets hope they can be better contained next week when the Arrowheads take on the Titans.  As the Bear Down Brawlers look for redemption against DaBears.

Decapitators Vs. Chiefs


Here was another contender for blowout of the week though I thought the scores would be switched in the Chiefs favor for this one.  The Decapitators managed to get nearly a 40 point win over the Chiefs, with a team that has him in contention for the golden plunger by sitting at (3-6).  It boggles the the mind where this team came from, so I'm going to chalk it up to "Solar flares bouncing off of the moon, disturbing the earth's magnetic fields,which upset the natural balance of what is fantasy football" and move on.  The Decapitators will take on the 49ers next week and the Chiefs look for a win (or to take one step closer to Toilet Bowl) against the Lions.

Packers Vs 49ers


This week the 49ers made a statement game for their determination to make the playoffs.  By Rivers and VJax putting up numbers we are more accustomed to and Willis McGahee putting up numbers that we didn't even know he could count to, the 49ers almost managed to put up nearly 200 points this week.  We dont't expect 49ers to continue to put up these kind of numbers but  it must be a relief to Patrick that they can.  Next week the Packers should get an easy win against the Assassins and 49ers will look to keep it going against the Decapitators.

Titans Vs Steelers                  (Nail Biter of the Week)


This one really wasn't much of a nail biter, it was pretty much over after the 4 o clock games Sunday.  Ray Rice and Robbie Gould just made it look closer than it really was.  Sad thing is that I should have won this one and if Atlanta didn't play the fucking Colts then I probably would have.  But alas the Falcons set some season highs last week and Fetter started three of their players.  Oh well a broken clock is even right twice a day.  The Titans look to redeem themselves against the Arrowheads and the Steelers look to stay playoff relevant against the Patriots.  ( I need a Beer!)



As a last note would like to remind everyone that the trade deadline is Friday, so get those proposals out there.  Also this week starts the Thursday night games, so everyone but Thomas be sure to get your line-ups in.  The Titans play the Panthers Sunday which is pivotal game to see if we can keep hope alive or start a downward spiral towards a (5-11) season let's hope for the former.  Anyways I'll chopping wood again Saturday if anyone would like to come help and as always good luck this week.

Haters Gonna to Hate...

     Apparently the best way to put a target on your back is to make that target a  #1.  I didn't realize that someone many people were drinking the Haterade.  But at least I know I must be doing something right to garner so much hate.  I can't blame you all though, I'd hate too if the roles were reversed.  Apparently though a lot of people are looking to get trades done before the deadline, but people aren't willing to meet in the middle in order to get a deal done.  I can't believe Todd is on a winning streak and sitting at 5-2 and our Super Bowl Chump is going to struggle to make the playoffs.  PLAYOFFS?!?!  Speaking of which, I was thinking about writing a playoff issue discussing what each team needed to do over the next few weeks in order to get a seed.  Let me know what you all think about it in the comments bellow.  Enough talking let's get into it.

Lions Vs Decapitators.        (Blowout of the Week)

    A couple more of these and were going to start calling it the Feldman trophy.  That or the whoever plays Johnny this week trophy.  (sorry Johnny couldn't resist). The Lions were back this week from there bye week trouble and were looking to lay the smack down.  Well the smack hath been laid.  The Lions look to continue winning next week against the Patriots.  While the Decapitators  look to get back into it against the Chiefs.

Bear Down Brawlers Vs Titans

     The streak continues and so shall I.  Titans take on the Steelers next week and the Brawlers have a playoff relevant game against the Arrowheads.

Packers Vs DaBears

     DaBears got a gift in this weeks game since the Greenbay Packers were on bye.  Which meant half of the Packers team was on a bye and they still managed to keep a close game. Brandon have you thought about what your going to do if Green Bay end upsitting their starters toward the end of the season?  (Ahh Shit!) The (Fudge)Packers play the 49ers next week and DaBears should have another easy game against the Gridiron Assassins.

Patriots Vs 49ers
     Holy Crap!  36 points from Detroit's Defense.  There's not much else here.  The bigger part of Amy's win was Patrick's team didn't even show up.  The 49ers had a chance going into Monday Night, but with San Diego getting manhandled by the Chiefs it killed all hopes that Patrick had.  The Patriots have a tough match-up against the Lions and the 49ers will take on the Packers.

Steelers Vs Arrowheads      (Nail-Biter of the Week)


     The Steelers almost pulled this one off.  If he had been able to get a respectable game out of Miles Austin he could have had a chance of winning.  But alas he didn't and now he sits at 3-5 with hopes of the playoffs slowly slipping away.  The Arrowheads had a pretty good game out of most of his team especially that Titans Defense putting up 20 points for him. (That's Right)  The Steelers look to keep their playoff hopes alive next week against the Titans and the Arrowheads look to keep it rolling against the Brawlers.

Chiefs Vs Gridiron Assassins 


     Just when you think the Assassins have given up for the season he steps in and finally makes some roster moves.  Unfortunately even with the moves it still didn't pay off and the Assassins lost.  Maybe if he had paid more attention to the fact that Addai was out and Philly's Steve Smith sucks he would have had more of a chance.  At least he's making an effort.  It didn't help though that the Bills Defense put up 34 points for the Chiefs.  The Chiefs will face-off against the Decapitators and the Assassins will try their luck against DaBears.

      The Football Season is halfway over, the fantasy season is even further along than that.  Even the fantasy  playoffs are starting take shape.  Not to mention that I graduate in 42 days!  Ohhhh excitement is in the air and things are starting to come together.  Who will go to the playoffs  and who will take home the coveted Golden Plunger?  My money is on Jay but it's still a wide open race.  Who gets your vote to take home the Golden Plunger?  Good luck Everyone!

The Omitted Issue

This past weekend on my way to Nashville to watch the Titans get pummeled by a Andre Johnson-less Texans team.  SMH...  It was brought to my attention that apparently the one week I took off apparently everything happened in the league (or at least for Johnny and Scott).  So I decided to include a little bit from 3 weeks ago to make 1/6 of my reading base happy.  So here we go.  YEAH!  Johnny finally won a game and he did it with 4 people on by!  Maybe that should be your strategy from now, bench half your team and hope the other half carries you to victory.  Only flaw is that you can't play the Patriots every week.  Mr. Feldman...  Scott found it to be highly coincidental that the one week I didn't write the Blog was the same week he ruined my undefeated season.  So here you go Scott, I hope this makes up for the two game losing skid your in right now.

"In week 5 Blowout of the week it was the 'Clash of the Undefeated's'.  But with half of the Titan's team on bye it was more like leading cattle to slaughter.  The Lions took an early lead in this one and despite the legendary combination of Titus Young, James Starks, Isaac Redman on the Titans roster, the Lions just pulled further and further away in this one."
There you go guys.  Now everyone else is going to want to know why I don't write about their crappy team's "amazing" victories.  I hope your fucking happy.   Now lets get back to our regularly scheduled program.

Decapitators Vs Packers         (Blowout of the Week)


There's the Johnny that we've grown accustomed to.  I have to admit I was pulling for an underdog victory when Brees put up 45 points in the Sunday night game and they pulled him in the 4th quarter.  I was thinking No, Don't  Johnny only needs 30 more points.  In which by the way that game had been going it was very conceivable.  I can picture Brandon saying "Thank God" when they finally pulled Brees.  Next week the Decapitators take on the Lions and DaBears are given a gift next week since Green Bay is on bye ergo so is 3/4 of the (Fudge)Packers team.  (think about it)

Lions Vs Arrowheads 


Wow!  Loss number two for the Lions.  One more and that makes a streak.  Even the Mile High Messiah couldn't save the Lions Bye week team though he was their top scorer.  The Arrowheads has an unbelievable game out of (FUCKING) Arian Foster and Demarco Murray that managed to tame the Lions last week and give the Arrowheads a 20 point victory.  the Lions will face the Decapitators next week (don't fuck this up Scott) and the Arrowheads look to continue winning against the Steelers.

Bear Down Brawlers Vs Gridiron Assassins


What should have been an easy victory for the Brawlers he turned into a closer that I would have liked game.  It looked like a tough week for the Brawlers as just a couple members of his team were able to break double digits.  As for the Assassins well we'll just call them the new "Tino" and move on.  The Bear Down Brawlers look to keep putting up low numbers against the Titans next week, while the Gridiron Assassins will try to not give the game away to the Chiefs.

Steelers Vs. Dabears


It was an average game out of both teams here.  The deciding factor was Adrian Peterson putting up nearly 30 points for the Steelers to give him the victory.  Looking at some of the players on both of these teams I hope that they were plagued by the Bye Week Blues or it could be a long season for both of them.  The Steelers will take on the Arrowheads next week and DaBears will try their luck against the Packers.  May God go with you both.

Chiefs Vs 49ers


I really thought the Chiefs were going to pull this one off.  But with lackluster performances out of Reggie Wayne, Mercedes Lewis, and Chris Johnson (thanks again Hull) it makes it difficult to win games even when Seattle's Defense puts up 21 points for you (WTF?!) Even though both teams had players that just didn't show up for them, the Chiefs just managed to have more.  Which was the main reason for their demise.  Next week the Chiefs look to take on the Gridiron assassins in what should be a bounce back game for them and the 49ers look for victory against the Patriots.

Titans Vs Patriots       (Nail-Biter of the Week)


It was a disgraceful game for both the Tennessee Titans(Thank god i didn't pick up their D)  and the Titans this week.  In what should have been an easy game for both one team gets blown out (Fucking Arian Foster) and the other just barely squeaks by a win.  Let's hope that both teams bounce back this week, which is a possibility since Tennessee plays the Colts and I look to continue my undefeated streak against Don.  Here's hoping for the the best!


On a side note I wanted to give a little love to Patrick's 49ers who are now sitting at 5-1 and comming off their bye.  It only took 10 + years of Patrick saying that this is their year, but who knows this could be their year.  Also the Steelers play the Patriots this weekend in real life which is basically a game of which team I despise more.  Since both teams will be in the same place at the same time it would be a great time for any terrorists to take out two birds with one stone...  Just Saying.  : p

Good luck to everyone this weekend!

Oh... How the Mighty Have Fallen.

To go from undefeated to losing to Todd.  What a fall that is.  It just goes to show what a competitive league ours has become.  But as Scott put it now that he has his one loss out of the way the pressure is off and he can concentrate on the playoffs.  We had several close games this week that were decided by just a few points.  My team got back on track with a good win against Jay.  With the exception of a few that have been able to find a little seperation from the rest of the pack it looks to be a tight race for playoffs.  PLAYOFFS!???  Yes, I am already talking about the playoffs were are at the halfway point of the fantasy season and I plan to be there. "Who's coming with  me?"

Titans Vs Gridiron Assassins         (Blowout of the Week)


Now that's what I'm talking about!  After the bye week bit me in the ass last week I was thrilled to see my team bounce back.  I didn't have anybody really blow up for me this week.  I just had a better than usual game out of Colston and a solid performance from the rest of my team.  Next week it's a feud of the family as I take on my wife (Patriots).  Fortunately she singing the Bye week blues this week so hopefully I can add another "W" for my team.  The Assassins face off against the Bear Down Brawlers.

Lions Vs DaBears


I don't know about the rest of you, but after the Lions ruined my undefeated season last week I found myself secretly pulling for DaBears in this one and was kinda glad to see them pull it off.  DaBears pulled it off with help from Stafford and a 2009 esque game from Michael Turner.  On the other side of the coin the Lions players just didn't show up for him.  Better luck next week.  The Lions also saw the foresight last week to pick up Tim Tebow to back up Mike Vick.  Now he has two QB's that are injury risks and are highly likely to be on IR by week 10.  The Lions move on to face the Arrowheads and DaBears will face the Steelers.

Bear Down Brawlers Vs 49ers        ( Nail Biter of the Week)


This was a close one that came down to Monday night and Dustin Keller.  I bet Don still cringes when he hears that name.  There was only a two point difference in the final scores, but it wasn't a stellar outing by either team with neither team breaking a hundred points..  But from a look at the rosters it looks like both teams had some byes this week.  The 49ers take on the Chiefs next and the Brawlers look for redemption against the Gridiron Assassins.

Decapitators Vs Arrowheads 

Well, Well, Well...  Look who won a game.  Don'y call it a comeback, because Johnny says he's already arrived.  It was Brees and Gore that put up the most points for the Decapitators, with Hartline pulling out the win for him Monday night.  The Arrowheads made a good try at it with the Jets D putting up 27 points for him.  Next week the Decapitators look to extend their winning streak to two against the Packers(I'm Pulling for you Johnny) and Arrowheads look to get back into the mix against the Lions.

Packers Vs Steelers 


The Steelers made a valiant effort against the Packers last week.  But with the entire Green Bay Packers facing off against the Rams, this one was almost over before it started.  Bet you wish you had started Delone Carter Huh Fetter (inside joke).  If the (Fudge)Packers keep on starting Washington running backs it gives everyone a shot to win against him.  That or when is Green Bay's Bye week?  By the way has anyone else noticed that last years Superbowl Chump has the same record as the Decapitators.  Can you say Hangover?
The Packers take on the mighty Decaoitators next week and the Steelers take on DaBears.

Patriots Vs  Chiefs


This game was another close one that had the Patriots up by 14 points going into Monday night.  Thank God for Kickers though.  Huh Hull?  With only Santonio Holmes and Nick Folk left on his roster, the Chiefs managed to pull off the victory here even without Legarette Blount.  It didn't hurt having Freeman and Fred Jackson put up 50 points for him.  The Chiefs look for another win next week against the 49ers and the Patriots will accept another loss against the Titans.


Since I didn't have an opportunity to write last week I thought I would make a couple o observations that I saw.  Starting with "Making it Rain".  After seeing a 103 dollars dropped last week on waivers I see that everyone understands how the waiver system works now.  (except for Jay maybe)  I was a little shocked to see the amount of money that players were going for.  But I hope everyone's investments payoff for them and I encourage everyone to keep on spending.  Also I've noticed that a lot of you aren't reading your emails for some reason.  So I'll let you know now if a recently injured player is on waivers and it's too good to be true than it probably is.  That player has been dropped to IR.  If there is any doubt feel free to ask.  FYI the current players on IR are Kenny Britt, Legarette Blount, and Peyton Manning.  That will wrap it up for this weeks.  Good Luck to every one!

Clash of the Titans??????

So it comes down to this.  Two undefeated juggernauts are pitted against each other in a battle to the death.  Two men enter one man leaves.  Unfortunately I don't believe I will be the victor in this competition, between injuries and singing the bye week blues I don't believe I have enough depth to put together a competent fantasy team this week.  Which I am sure truly saddens many of you out there.  SMH...  But if the fantasy football gods see fit to find me in their favor then I will feel honored to remain undefeated one more week.  Even if I do lose it could be a lot worse, I could be the Decapitators.  Seriously someone needs to figure out when he is mathematically eliminated.  Anyways lets get to it.

Lions Vs Bear Down Brawlers          (Blowout of the Week)


Well this is encouraging for me, my adversary this week put up 175 points against the Brawlers last week.  The Lions had a huge game out of Vick and Baltimore's Defense last week combining for nearly 75 points.  Also with the Brawlers suffering the loss of Andre Johnson for a few weeks made it nearly impossible to tame the Lions.  Unfortunately I face the Lions this week, while the Brawlers look for redemption against the Steelers.

Titans Vs Decapitators
How bout them Titans!  Not only are we on a winning streak but their defense also helped me to keep Johnny in the cellar.  Jimmy Graham and Ray Rice also had pretty good games for me, while Johnny's team, was well being Johnny's team.  I will try to protect my winning streak this week against the Lions and the Patriots look to get an easy win off of the Decapitators.

Steelers Vs Gridiron Assassins


The Steelers had a unusually good game out of Matt Ryan last week which is probably what put his team over the top this week.  He edged out the Assassins by 8 points and was a contender for the Nail-biter of the week but believe it or not there was a closer game.  The Steelers go on to face the Brawlers this week while the Assassins look to extend their losing streak against the Arrowheads.

Chiefs Vs DaBears


Wow!  What a week for the Chiefs!  The Kansas City Chiefs and the Chiefs pull off a win in the same week.  The planets just seemed to align for the Chiefs as Tanpa Bay team combined for over 52 points.  Possibly Kansas City and the Chiefs share a destiny and are linked together.  So as one succeeds so will the other (or maybe they both just got lucky).  The Chiefs move on to face the Packers and DaBears will face the 49ers.

Packers Vs Patriots


Even with Wes Welker and Hakeem Nicks putting up 60+ points for her, she dishonored  "The Family" by losing to an outsider.  Of course if I had a Quaterback that would put up 60 points for me I wouldn't lose many games either.  The Patriots should regain respect from "The Family" when she takes on the Decapitators and the (Fudge)Packers will move on to play the Chiefs.

Arrowheads Vs 49ers    (Nail-biter of the Week)


This was a close one even for Nail-biter standards.  With less than a 3 point difference between the scores this one could have gone either way.  The 49ers managed to pull this one off last week though and the Arrowheads fall to 2-2.  This week the 49ers take on DaBears and the Arrowheads look for a win against the Assassins.

This weeks blog was a little short but I'm on VACATION bitches.  So we'll embarrass people more next week.  Good luck to everyone!  Go Titans!!!  Steelers Suck!!!!

And Then There Was Two...

I'm going to start this week out with just a little bit of a rant.  Ahem...  KENNY FUCKING BRITT!  FUCKING KENNY BRITT!  MOTHER FUCKING, DAMN IT, KENNY BRITT!  Alright now we can get down to business.  In case you haven't heard Kenny Britt tore his ACL and MCL and will be out for the season.  So we get to see what the titans look like with Nate Washington as their number one receiver, a decent defense, and an almost non existent run game.  (Hull feels me on that one...). But back to it now.  It was an interesting week for a lot of us.  Some of us moved on to 3-0 and others moved down to 0-3.  Which brings us to our first game and the Blowout of the Week goes to the ...

Bear Down Brawlers Vs Chiefs.     (Blowout of the Week)

Well I guess we know who is gearing up to make a run for the golden plunger.  The Brawlers put up the second highest numbers for the week and with the Chiefs barely able to break 90 points this game was almost over before it started.  The Brawlers move on next week to face Lions (which ought to be a good match-up) and the Chiefs will continue to chase their Goal for the Bowl next week against DaBears.

Lions Vs Steelers

I thought this game was going to be a lot closer than what it was but the Lions missed receiving the blowout of the week by less than a point.  The Lions had a lot of player break above twenty but what helped the had to be his tight end (The Gronk) throwing up 26 points this week.  It also didn't hurt that Fetter decided to roll the dice on Peyton Hillis this week hoping that he would accumulate points from his couch while trying to get overcome strep throat.  Ahhh!  Snake eyes Damn it.  Good work there Steelers.  As you know the Lions face the Brawlers and the Steelers get a chance to improve to 2-2 against the Gridiron Assassins.

Decapitators Vs DaBears

Here's your other contender for the Golden Plunger.  DaBears put a 50 point shellacking on the Decapitators which managed a modest 104 points.  Keep up the good work Johnny, I play you this week.  I hate to think that your still paying for all that smack you talked before the Superbowl 2 years ago.  Seriously someone needs to do the math to find out when the Decapitators and the Chiefs will be eliminated from playoff contention.  :) Just kidding both teams still have plenty of time to turn it around this year.  DaBears next opponent will be the Chiefs.

Titans Vs 49ers

Going into this game I thought that I was going to suffer my first loss.  After all Patrick always gives me a good game.  I was comforted however with his loss of Jamal Charles and even so thought Patrick had a good enough team to contend.  But his team let him down last week and weren't able to overcome the almighty Titans.  The Decapitators look to ruin my perfect season this week while the 49ers move on to face the Arrowheads. 


Packers Vs Arrowheads.    (Nail-biter of the week)


This was a close one.  For some reason I found myself pulling for the Arrowheads in this match-up.  Neither team had any one player have an extraordinary game for them.  It was just a combination of average and below average performances from each roster and it was probably an above average performance out of Janikowski that won it for the Arrowheads.  Arrowheads move on to play the 49ers this week while the (Fudge)Packers look to pick up the pieces against the Patriots.

Patriots Vs Gridiron Assassins

I'm fell proud and sorry for my girl at the same time.  She has put together a pretty good team and has won a couple of games, hell she might even make it to the playoffs.  But that's where I start feeling bad for her because there is now way she makes it pass me in the playoffs.  Haha Just kidding.  No seriously a lot of football left to play.  As far as this game goes two words "Wes Welker".  That is who pulled the Patriots to victory this week.  Next week the Patriots look to take on the Packers and the Assassins will try their luck against the Steelers.

Next week I will be on vacation so I doubt that I will get one of these out.  If anyone would like to earn favor with "The Family"  I will be driving to South Carolina during the 1:00 games and would appreciate any Titans updates.  As always good luck everybody!

Someone Tell Fetter to Go Back to Talking Smack

A lot happened this week especially on the injury front.  Hull's Chiefs look destined to take a step back this year with the injury of Jamal Charles.  Which hopefully bodes well for me since I play Patrick this week.  Other than that the entire Dallas offense got hot by a MAC truck named the 49ers defense this weekend and Vick suffered his first concussion of the season (many more to follow).  Let's get to it.

Game 1:  Steelers Vs Decapitators    (Blowout of the Week)
I figured that I would start something new this week by recapping the blowout of the week first and wow this was a blowout.  Though if the Decapitators seasoncontinues the way it has s
started he'll become a regular in this blowout section. With just about everyone on the Steelers roster blowing up this week and the injuries affecting Johnny's team the Decapitators didn't have much of a chance. The Steelers numbers should fizzle down this week when he plays the Lions and the Decapitators will get a chance to redeem himself against DaBears. Look at this way Johnny if you can't pull off a win this week then there is always next year.

 Game 2: Lions Vs Packers 
After the week 1 that the (fudge)Packers and the Lions had there was high hopes that this would be a true battle of titans. Unfortunately with the Lions getting out to an early lead and the Packers team only putting up average numbers the game was pretty much over by Sunday afternoon. The Lions look to keep their winning streak going and possibly without the services of Vick this week against the Steelers. The Packers will face off against the Arrowheads. By the way sorry about the whole fudge(Packers) thing, it was really well received by your fellow league members and you got to give the people what they want.

 Game 3: Bear Down Brawlers Vs Patriots
Well the Ellis Mafia might have lost a member this year, but we seem to be as strong as ever.  Just ask Don, who now suffers an 0-2 start from "The Family."  The Patriots win was in large part to Detroit.  Between Jahvid Best and Detroit's D gained a lead early and with the rest of her team putting up average numbers was enough to find victory.  The Patriots take on the Gridiron Assassins and the Bear Down Brawlers look for their first win against the Chiefs.

Game 4:  Titans Vs Chiefs
In this game it wasn't so much of the Titans' roster blowing up as much as it was a lot of the Chiefs players not putting anything.  A Win is a win though and I'll take it.  This week I match-up against the 49ers and the Chiefs take on the Brawlers.  A possible preview of the Toilet Bowl Championship??????  Just a heads up Hull, Don says he is coming for the plunger!

Game 5:  DaBears Vs Arrowheads  (Nail-Biter of the week)
This game came down to the wire.  Going into Monday night the Arrowheads held a slight lead, but DaBears held the better players going into Monday Night Football but as anyone knows you never know how things can turn out.  But DaBears managed to reclaim the lead and hold onto it to pick up his first win.  The Arrowheads move on to play the Packers and DaBears look to start a streak against the Decapitators.

Game 6:  49ers Vs Gridiron Assassins
Tough week for the 49ers here.  With the loss of their first round pick and the heart-braking loss to the Cowboys in overtime I'm not sure how he made it out of bed Monday morning.  I'm sure the only thing that eases the pain was kicking the crap out of the Gridiron Assassins.  Vincent Jackson and Phillip Rivers put up big numbers for the 49ers last week, while the Assassins had a couple of players put up goose eggs.  (Another contender for the plunger??) .  Lets hope that this was Patrick's good game for the year since I have to face him this week as for the Assassins the look to take the other half of the Ellis Mafia.

Good Luck to everyone this weekend and just a reminder don't be "That Guy" pay your league dues if you haven't yet.

So, why didn't we draft for Tino?

Whose fucking idea was it to bring in this ringer of a (fudge)Packers fan?  There for a minute I thought he was going to break 200 points this week.  Before I get into the games of the past week and next weeks match-ups I would like to send out my personal thanks out to the Chiefs for saving me from my homerism and taking C.J. second overall.  Thanks, Hull!  Now lets get to it.


Game 1:  Titans Vs Bear Down Brawlers

I was nervous coming into this game thinking that I might have screwed up taking three running backs in the first three rounds of the draft and that my consecutive win streak over the Brawlers might finally come to an end.  Thankfully my streak over the Brawlers continues on for a few more weeks with an outstanding game from Ray Rice and what I will admit was a lucky game from Kenny Britt.  In week 2 the Titans take on the Chiefs and the Brawlers move on to face the Patriots.

Game 2:  Patriots Vs 49ers 


I don't know why but it is always a close game with these two.  It even comes down to tenths of a point, doesn't it Patrick?  The Patriots put up a valiant effort especially Monday night with Welker putting 33 points.  But in the end even Welker couldn't overcome the suckfest that was the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday.  It also doesn't hurt to have Rivers putting up 23 for you.  In week 2 the 49ers will try their luck against the Gridiron Assassins.

Game 3:  Lions Vs Decapitators


Well Johnny's luck from last season just seems to be carrying over into this one.  After somehow being able to continue his draft day blunders by drafting the injured Terrell Thomas and now it looks like Colston will miss a month or two.  I would like to say that the Decapitators put up a fight but truth is that the Lions waxed that ass.  If it wasn't for Brees and Benson putting up over half his points this game would have been a massacre.  Better luck to the Decapitators who face off with the Steelers in week 2.  As far as the Lions they face the Packers and here's hoping Vick breaks his leg before I'm  scheduled to play him.

Game 4:  Steelers Vs Arrowheads


Well, Well, Well, I think the words "First to Worst" sums it all up.  As far as the Arrowheads, way to make a statement by beating up on last years champ and wiping that shit eating grin off his face.  Welcome to the league!  Now start sucking before I have to play you.  By the way tough loss with Berry for the year.  The Arrowheads will try to continue their win streak against DaBears in week 2.

Game 5:  Packers Vs DaBears


The new guy came into this league sandbagging himself saying that he hadn't been keeping up with football and didn't know how well he would do this year.  I guess his strategy of drafting the entire Green Bay Packers is paying off so far but we will see if this pattern continues throughout the season.  The Packers put great numbers on Thursday night but seemed to fizzle out by the end of the weekend.  DaBears put up respectable numbers this week that would have beat half the people in our league, but all that matters right now is Wins and Loses.

Game 6:  Chiefs Vs Gridiron Assassins


So which is worse?  To be the person with the worst draft or to be beat by the person who had the worst draft.  In this match up the the line ups seemed to favor the Chiefs but when Tom Brady throws for over 500  yards it tends to tip the scales in the Assassins favor.  But this won't happen every week and the Assassins's numbers will come back closer to earth.


That will do it for this week.  I will try to do a preview of the week 2 games if I have the time but with a couple hundred pages of reading to get to I doubt it.  Good luck to everyone this week!

A little something from Brad

I'm going to post up a few pictures that I found on Brad's computer for anyone that would like to make it their gamer pic or that just something nice to look at.  Enjoy!  


]                                  

Did you hear that? That was Brock breathing a sigh of relief since CJ signed

Well, phew Damn it. Now that the Titans have a running back again I can refocus all of my energy on next weeks draft and figuring out how many different ways I can make our current Super Bowl Chump cry this season.  As far as the league goes everything seems to be right on schedule.  Jay has still yet to sign up for the league, he got himself a Yahoo account but has still yet to make a team in the league.  I am also sure that all of you all have been holding back any questions about this season until 5 minutes before the draft just so we can spend another hour or two explaining the rules to you.  So yep we're right on schedule.  While on the subject of being on schedule it didn't take long for Patrick to call and ask if I was taking CJ third overall.  I will tell you all the same thing I told him;  I was all set to start my season without CJ and now he has thrown big fuckin' wrench in it all.  So I don't think I even know yet.  I'm going to try this weekend to have epiphany this weekend by drinking until  I start seeing shit.  I'll let you know what the spirit guides tell me on Monday.

Speaking of spirits "Tino"  you still alive MoFo? If anyone sees him this weekend be sure to let him know that we have a draft on Wednesday

Anyways that will wrap it for this week.

In the words of the great Squishy Bear "Go Titans!  Boo Patriots"

Is that the Smell of Football in the Air or Did Someone Just Piss Themselves?

The DRAFT is exactly two weeks from today and I'm sure that everyone including myself are eagerly awaiting it.  Well everyone except Jay that is, considering he is the only one that has yet to sign up for the league.  So everyone needs to text Jay to let him know what a faggot he is.  Everyone needs to show up on the 7th with their $30 and their own drafting materials.  That doesn't mean showing up an hour early and using up all of the ink in my printer!  Ahem (Fetter) cough...  There will be a 2005 draft sheet made available to anyone that does not bring their own.  Also please feel free to drink as much as you want before and during the draft.  I believe Scott still has some of that shine and Fetter has some of that rubbing alcohol he calls Rum left.  Don said something about half price pizza at jets for the draft.  So holla at him if you want some.

That covers all of the business stuff so lets move onto bitching.  How the hell is that same SOB that squeaked by and won the Superbowl last year, ends up pulling the first pick in the draft.  WTF!  All kidding aside though Fetter would you go ahead and tell everybody who you are going to take with the first pick.  I mean your going to screw it up, like the Panthers did in this years draft anyway.  At least the Panthers had the decency to let everyone know before hand who they were going to screw it up with.

Anyways hope to see everyone in a couple of weeks and wish everyone luck.

You'll need it...

Hasselbeck to the Titans

Well don't really know how I feel about this one.  I think we paid too much unless we cut the guy after 2 years, which hopefully is the plan.  I got a feeling that the Titans aren't going to be playoff bound this year anyway so I would have been just as happy if they spent less money on an even more mediocre quarterback.  But enough about how my team is screwing up lets' talk about everyone elses.

San Francisco:
 They decided to roll the dice on Alex Smith for one more year, but I think we will be seeing Kaepernick behind center before the season is over. Also rumor has it that Frank Gore is going to hold out, for those of you that want to see Kaepernick take over the starting job this good news because without Gore in the backfield Smith is going to get crushed and placed on IR rather quickly.

Pittsburgh:  They are exceeding the cap limit by over 10 million and yet some how are going to resign Ike Taylor for another 4 years.  In order to get under the cap cuts will be made from the O-line since they haven't had one of those in years anyways.  Also rumor has it that Plaxico might be heading back to the Steel City not as a receiver but as a penal consultant for the team.  Someone to teach them how to make shanks, become someones bitch, and survive life on the inside.  Writing that made me smile :)

Patriots:
Big Fat Al has been traded from the Skins to the Pats for a fifth round pick.  Belichick better keep some treats in his pocket to get Haynesworth to play!  Tom Brady still sucks dong and no one likes New England, so moving on.

Cowboys:
The Cowboys seem to be cleaning house they have released Marion Barber, Roy williams, and Kicker: Kris Brown.  Lets hope that they take some of that money and buy an o-line for Romo otherwise it's back to Kitna and a sub- par season.

Bears:
The Bears have been pretty quite so far.  But give Cutler's EMO ass sometime and he will find something to wine about.  Devin Hester is sad because he wasn't able to get Santana Moss to come to Chicago and teach him how to be a mediocre wide receiver.  They lost Aroshamadododo to the Vikings, hopefully he will become irrelevant and I want have to say his name anymore.

Chiefs:
Only news with the chiefs is that they signed Steve Breaston to a five year deal.  They must feel after their deep playoff run last year that they have all the pieces in place to go all the way this year...  SMH.   Thank goodness they play in the AFC West Huh, Hull?

TASTE THE RAINBOW

Just saw this and laughed my ass off.  Thought You all would get a kick out of it.

Football's Back Baby!!!

Well I just heard the news this morning that the players and owners have come to an agreement for a new CBA. This means to let the scramble begin in the NFL for free agency, resigning veteran players, and signing up the rookies.  This year looks to be a scramble of which team can pull it together in the shortest amount of time will be the team to come out on top and fantasy football should be no different.  Since the league's "timekeeper" otherwise known as Don has already contacted me twice so I knew that time was starting to run short.  So lets just get right to it.

The first game of the season is on September 8th.  We will look to draft on September 4th.  We will not need a buffer week this year assuming that no one else's old lady is knocked up.  I will be collecting dues from now until draft day. With nearly 6 weeks of advance notice it shouldn't be that difficult to come up with the money between now and then.  The dues are the same as last year $30 dollars.

Finally as always I would like to set up a pre-draft meeting to discuss the upcoming fantasy year (especially with all of the changes taking place).  For right now unless something changes I will scedule the meeting for August 7th and hopefully there will be some football to watch that day.

So just to sum it up:

Pre-draft meeting:  Aug. 7th
Draft:  Sept. 4th
Dues:  $30

The Depressing Shit

For those of you that didn't know Brad passed away in June.  I decided to try and keep this thing going and hopefully not screw it up too badly.  I'm going to try to run this blog the same way he did, so if anything I write offends don't get mad me at me, Brad told me to write it.  Or as Brad would say "Who gives a fuck what you think."  Anyways lets move on from the depressing shit and start talking about how many different ways I'm going to kick your all's asses.