For Starters:
– First of all, exceptional work last week from The Commish in his blog contribution. I not only co-sign, but also endorse all the derogatory comments he made about my team. Why my roster full of podunk losers and waiver wire'd rejects has become the villain this year is beyond me. But hate on, people! First, though, you'll have to get in line behind the people that tell me how much I suck everyday in my work email. Haters gonna hate.
– Let's just clear the air here, I'm not ducking out of blog posts because my team blows. I'm the first to admit it. Decatur has big time depth concerns and locker room issues to boot. But, to be honest, the more Tennessee sucks (the Vols, not the Titans), and the closer Derek Dooley gets to being fired, the less attention I can give the blog. I'm averaging around 15,000 words a week between my real job and these fantasy posts and all things in between, so bear with me if updates become scarce as November wears on. But I'm going to keep it as consistent and weekly as possible.
– In more relevant news, I changed up the format this week to just an extended edition of power rankings with a look at each team's roster. If you like it, let me know. If you hate, keep to yourself. If you think I took a dump on your team, get over it. For all other concerns, annoy Brock with your petty whines.
– And, referring to the earlier note, I write way too much every single day. So if below is full of typos and factual errors, that's my bad. I don't have the energy to edit it. So overlook those the obvious.
– One last note: I'm thinking about adding a Trading Block segment to each blog. So if you have someone you want to put on the block, or you're in the market for a certain position or player, let me know. That's if y'all think it would get more attention on the blog than on the league message board.
Week 9 Extended Power Rankings brought to you by ExtenZe
Pl. Team | Record | Points For | Points Against
1. Packers | (6-2) | 1161 | 1011
The Packers go as Drew Brees goes. And Brees usually drops 40. Whether it was Brees stopping himself or the Broncos somehow slowing him down last week, the Packers finally hit a speed bump against what seems to be a surging Gronk Smash! team. Brees, second only to Aaron Rodgers in fantasy points this season, isn't the only weapon on the league's best team. Heath Miller has 336 receiving yards to go with six touchdowns, the most of any tight end in the NFL and by far the most productive in the fantasy standings. Denarius Moore already has 4 TD grabs in limited time this season and Alcoa's own Randall Cobb seems to be having a break out season in Green Bay with three of his four touchdowns this season coming in the last two weeks. A.J. Green has just been ridiculous, catching seven touchdowns on 636 yards receiving (making himself into the possible first wide out off the board in next year's draft) and Frank Gore (656 yards rushing, four touchdowns) has been good for some big-point weeks. Both Gore and St. Louis' Daryl Richardon, who was slotted as RB2 for the Packers last week, are off this week. Green is back off the bye, but down two running backs could be hard to overcome in Week 9 against Sean's 49ers, a team that's won two in a row to move to 3-5.
2. Ben There | (6-2) | 1086 | 844
The commish hasn't lost in three weeks, since a Week 5 loss to the top-ranked Packers, and has taken over a steady spot at No. 2 in the polls. Matt Ryan has been the bargain of the draft, throwing for 17 touchdowns in the Falcons high-powered offense and scoring 188 fantasy points so far this season. Not bad for a fifth round pick. Jimmy Graham is still ballin' (he had 10 targets Sunday night against the Broncos despite being questionable before the game) and Roddy White and Brandon Marshall all have four receiving touchdowns this season. Marshall has proven his worth (a third round pick) by being the one of the most targeted wideouts in the league. Brandon Lloyd, who Brock took with the next pick after Marshall, has three scores on 435 yards receiving. All that is without mentioning Torrey Smith, who early on seemed to catch nothing but big-yardage throws, with another four touchdowns and over 400 yards receiving. The depth at receiver is hampered, at least a bit, by lack of production at RB. Chris Johnson (595 yards, 2 touchdowns) has come on as of late, but has had some major no show performances. Darren McFadden (438 yards, two scores) has been less than desirable. But none of that has slowed the commish down so far. Ben There matches up with Stairway to Seven in Week 9 trying for a fourth-straight W.
3. Patriots | (6-2) | 1035 | 969
Look no further than Amy's team name. Tom Brady has 2,408 passing yards and has thrown for 16 touchdowns, Wes Welker has 91 fantasy points on 736 receiving yards and JUST two touchdowns and Steven Ridley has scored five times and ran for 717 yards to total 117 fantasy points this season. They all play for Bill Belichick's Patriots and they all play for Amy's Patriots. Eric Decker has five touchdown catches as one of Peyton Manning's most dangerous targets in Denver and Alfred Morris is in the running for the best draft pick of the year after scoring 112 points (717 rush yards, five touchdowns) through Week 8. Everyone laughed at Amy on draft day. Now Amy laughs at everyone else. Josh Gordon has been a solid waiver wire pick up, with 379 receiving yards and a pair of touchdowns this year. But Amy wiped out her free agent budget ($43 bones, to be exact) on Rashard Jennings after MJD went down. The draw back to all those Pat points is New England eventually having a bye week. Well that week is this week. And, lucky for Amy, she faces those lowly Decatur Staleys. Say hello to 7-2 for me, Amy.
4. Da Bears | (5-3) | 1085 | 1067
From under .500 to a solid spot in the playoffs, Todd's club is playing it's best (fantasy) football of the season entering Week 9. Fat Stafford has woken up, to an extent, including a 39-point taste the rainbow explosion last week. MJD going down with an injury for what could be the rest of the season hurts, but Michael Turner and Shon Greene have been serviceable in the RB slots. Offensively, Jordy Nelson stands out the most on Da Bears' roster, having already caught five touchdown passes and hauled in 532 receiving yards as Aaron Rodgers' favorite target in Green Bay. Icing on the cake for Todd is having his favorite team's defense, and that defense being the best fantasy D/ST in the league. Chicago has 148 fantasy points this season, which includes a franchise record six interceptions returned for touchdowns — and, to note, there's still nine games left on the schedule — and the league lead in takeaways (23) and an even 23 sacks. Aside from the Bears D, Todd doesn't have single roster spot that starts in over 89 percent of Yahoo fantasy leagues. Yet after a three-game win streak Da Bears find themselves 5-3 and a No. 4 ranking.
5. Bear Down | (5-3) | 1041 | 970
Arian Foster is a beast. Foster already has 659 rushing yards and nine touchdowns for the Texans, the league's most run-heavy offense in terms of plays called. He's also caught a touchdown pass this year and added 77 receiving yards, helping his 142 point total so far. And to think, I drafted Ray Rice ahead of that guy. Philip Rivers has been very, well, Philip Rivers this season, throwing for 1,646 yards and 10 touchdowns to nine interceptions. His 105.74 points is only .70 points better than Jay Cutler, the other QB on the Don's roster. Malcom Floyd at WR1 is good for double points from Rivers. Matt Forte has been solid, running for 436 yards and catching 134 yards worth of passes, but the Bears every-down back still only has two rushing touchdowns this year. Ryan Mathews has come on as of late, totaling 354 yards and a rushing touchdown for the chargers. Tony Gonzalez and the fountain of youth have been good for four touchdowns in Atlanta's high-powered offense and Marques Colston continues to be a big-time threat in New Orleans with 580 receiving yards and five touchdowns. A big-time all Chicago match up this week puts Don's fifth-ranked, 5-3 Brawlers against Todd's fourth-ranked, 5-3 version of Da Bears. A win puts one of these teams at 6-3 and in a much more stable playoff spot entering the stretch run of the regular season.
6. Decatur Staleys | (4-4) | 962 | 1026
Boy does this team blow. Sure, there's big names — RGIII, Ray Rice, Marshawn Lynch, etc. But the talent falls off the table at the wide receiver slots. Miles Austin gets a lot of targets, but so do defensive backs when Tony Romo is slinging it. Lance Moore's problem is playing in a New Orleans offense with too many weapons for any one of said weapons to be consistently productive. If you have receivers that play for Atlanta, Green Bay or New Orleans, you know what I mean. Behind those two is a waiver wire-filled roster of failed dreams and wasted cash. The lowlights: Kenny Britt (face palm), Leonard Hankerson (who?), Jeremey Kerley (blows), Michael Bush (never plays), Dennis Pitta (never gets targeted) and Andy Dalton (ginger). Even the big name talents (RGIII, Rice and Lynch) are inconsistent at best. RGIII is basically putting all your eggs in the basket of a rookie QB. Rice gets ignored way too much. Lynch is just old. Really, I have two things going for me at this point: I picked up San Diego's defense this week (26 points) and I play Amy's 6-2 Pats during the Patriots bye week — no Tom Terrific, no Ridley, no White Boy Wasted Welker. But that doesn't mean my roster of blowhards will get a win this week. And if they don't, I'll see y'all in the consolation bracket.
7. Sawyer Shinobi's | (4-4) | 950 | 970
Johnathan and his Sawyer Shinobi's have Cam Newton to blame. That dude blows this year. Cammy Cam has 129.64 points this season. Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't he Johnathan's keeper this year? Not that keeping him was a bad move by any means. He's just screwing the Shinobers. In more positive news, Reggie Wayne (98 points so far) has had a fountain-of-youth year with Andrew Luck at QB. Victor Cruz is just a salsa dancing beast (117 points) and Jason Witten is coming along late in the flex after he had his spleen demolished in the preseason. Injuries have been rough on the Shinobi's, too. Rashard Mendenhall is out and Greg Jennings has yet to play. Jamaal Charles had some big-time point days early, but has since disappeared. But despite Cammy Cam, the injuries and a missing-in-action Jamaal Charles, Johnathan's squad is 4-4 and not out of the playoff picture by any means, especially with a Week 9 matchup with those 2-9 Chiefs.
8. Gronk Smash! | (3-5) | 1052 | 1080
Hold the phone, Scott Michael Feldman isn't dead yet. Back from the grave after a 1-5 start, Scott's Gronk Smash! squad has won two in a row to get back in the playoff conversation. Two weeks ago it was the Smash! beating those lowly Chiefs by five points. Congrats on that pillow fight, right? Well last week was no girl scout slap fight. Last week was KO'ing the biggest dude in the joint when the Smash! gave Brandon's Packers just their second loss of the season. And the key for the turnaround? No other than the team's name sake. Rob Gronkowski has 47 points over the last two weeks (19 in Week 7, 28 in Week 8) to help Scott back into a postseason possibility. Big Ben is workable at QB (after Wacco for Flacco has fallen off the face of the planet), Vincent Jackson has had some huge games and Percy Harvin has been crazy consistent (six double-digit performances in eight weeks). The two-straight wins have been without The Law Firm BJ-GE (an oomf 57 points this season) and DeMarrco Murray who was quiet even before the recent injuries have held him out. Also, add Shady McCoy to the crazy consistent list. No huge numbers for him, but six double-figure days in seven games is nasty. Up next for the red-hot Gronkers: Corey's 2-6 Boondock Saints.
9. 49ers | (3-5) | 952 | 1063
The Niners are another squad coming back to life after a 1-6 start was erased by two-straight wins the last two weeks. Mike Vick has been a turnover machine for both the Eagles and Sean's Niners. And what's worse, Vick could be benched by the Eagles, and subsequently by Sean's squad. If that happens, Josh Freeman is waiting on the bench. Larry Fitzgerald (73 points this season) has been a non-factor because Arizona has zero quarterbacks. Doug Martin hasn't quite been the draft day legend that he was back in September. Adrian Peterson has been a big positive, though, racking up 123 points entering Week 9. Mike Williams has been off and on, but has still managed to put up 71 points (just two less than Larry Fitz). Both 3-5 teams (Sean's 49ers and Scott's Gronk Smash!) have been outscored by their opponents as a whole, but both aren't out of the playoff race yet. Up this week for the 49ers: Brandon's No. 1 Packers.
10. Stairway to Seven | (2-6) | 1078 | 1170
Fetter has been screwed all year. Is anyone here going to argue that? Probably not. My dudes felt so bad for Fetter last week they let his Stairway squad beat them down last week. Here's Stairway's screwed by the week tally: Week 1, 148 points, lost; Week 4, 128 points, lost; Week 161 points (161!!!!!), lost; Week 6, 155 points (155!!!!), lost. All that aside, is there a better fantasy QB right now than Peyton Manning? He's got 189 points and counting so far. Mike Wallace has been big some weeks and gone other weeks, Megatron has been Megacrappy and Reggie Bush has quieted after a big-time first couple weeks. Julio Jones has been huge some weeks, but quieted by Roddy White on the other side of the Falcons' offense in others. Ahmad Bradshaw is just a bowling ball. Houston's D/ST is nasty and J.J. Watt is even nastier. Fetter needs some breaks (after getting zero breaks in the first half of the season) to get back in the playoff discussion, but his roster makes that still a possibility. This week: The Commish.
11. Chiefs | (2-6) | 972 | 1082
Aaron Rodgers. That's about it. The rest: DeSean Jackson (gross), Dewayne Bowe (who?), Ronnie Brown (he's still in the league?), Trent Richardson (alright, wish this dude was on my team), Martellus Bennett (not the worst tight end option in the league) and Antonio Brown (where you been?). Aaron Hernandez getting the high ankle sprain hurt, but him splitting time with Gronk hurts worse. Up next: The Sninobers.
12. Boondock | (2-6) | 879 | 1000
Boondock is responsible for one of Amy's two losses. And Boondock lost to Don's Brawlers by 0.52 points in Week 6. So, regardless of the league-low 879 points, Corey's squad is that close to being 3-5 and not completely out of contention. Eli Manning is just so much Eli Manning. It's impossible to figure that dude out. Reality football or fantasy football. Just impossible. Plus he looks like a doofus. Andre Johnson (59 points) plays in the NFL's most run-heavy offense with a game-manager QB. Jeremy Maclin blows, unless I'm missing something. Willis McGahee, on the other hand, has had a rebirth (99 points so far). Who saw that one coming? Not me. But I suck at fantasy football. Up this week: Gronk Smash!
Playoff Preview
Here's what the playoffs would look like if the postseason started with Week 9:
Round 1
(4) Da Bears vs. (5) Bear Down
(3) Patriots vs. (6) Decatur
Byes
(1) Packers
(2) Ben There
