Week 1 Rewind: Welcome to The League

Brock's House Fantasy Football — Week 1

Performer of the Week: Decatur

Decatur Staley's 166.38, Stairway to 7 148.84

Everyone welcome the rookie to the league — or don't, it doesn't matter to him because he's No. 1 overall after scoring a league-high 166.38 points in Week One. Oh yeah, that 'he' is me. It started with Tony Romo and his three touchdown, 31-point performance Wednesday night in the Meadowlands. It ended with Lance Moore, who was shut out for almost three quarters in New Orleans Sunday before going for 20 points as Drew Brees tried to rally the Saints past the Redskins. Decatur had 10 of 13 roster spots exceed point projections.

Stairway would've beaten anyone in the league this week — except Decatur. In hindsight, Beanie Wells was awful, accounting for 1.40 points (14 yards rushing) after being projected to go for 7.45. Other than that, a good week for Stairway, but an unfortunate draw of opponents. Stairway wasted a league-best in wide receiver production with Julio Jones (24.80), Megatron (13.10) and Mike Wallace (9.70) combining for 47.60 points in the loss.

NEXT UP: Decatur vs. Chiefs; Stairway vs. Gronk Smash!

Upset Special of the Week

Packers 145.36, Gronk Smash! 131.86

The Packers were projected as a 24.58-point underdog heading into Week 1's match-up with Show Me Your TDs (which has since changed to Gronk Smash!), but Scott picked up where he left off in the opening week of last year's playoffs — with a flop. Drew Brees (29.56) was the No. 4 quarterback in Week 1 and C.J. Spiller went HAM, scoring 28.40 points, that's 446.2 percent above his projected numbers going into Sunday for those scoring at home. Alcoa's own Randall Cobb gave the Packers some more surprise points with a 13.70-point performance that included a punt return for a touchdown.

TDs has Hakeem Nicks (3.80 points) to thank for the face plant. Jared Allen, the Rhinestone Cowboy himself, put up a goose egg. Was he even in the lineup for Minnesota? The losing effort wasted the efforts of wacko-for-Joe Flacco's 23.86 points and Rob Gronkowski (12 points). DeMarco Murray had 16 points but didn't score a touchdown in Wednesday's win over the Giants.

NEXT UP: Gronk Smash! vs. Stairway to 7; Packers vs. DaBearS

Just Got Beat by the Kicker and a Dude Named Alfred Upset of the Week

Patriots 122.24, Sawyer's Shinobi's 118.12

Nate Kaeding had a league-high 16 points to bring the Patriots from behind in the late Monday Night Football game. Oh, and this guy named Alfred Morris — a sixth round pick by the Redskins in the NFL Draft and a 15th round WRITE IN pick in the fantasy draft — also went off, scoring 21.60 points in the win. Nate Washington went for 11.30, that's 118 percent better than his projection. Yeah, that shit stings.

Shinobi's bench QB, Ryan Fitzpatrick, scored more points than the team's keeper QB from 2011, Cam Newton, who had 16.52 points in a loss at Tampa Bay. Somebody didn't have their Cammy Cam Juice in pregame. Victor Cruz (5.80) had the dropsies Wednesday night and Greg Jennings (3.40) underperformed against San Francisco. Jennings is 'doubtful' (according to the Packers) for Thursday night's game against Chicago. Toby Gerhart had 2.60 points. But who can blame him, I mean, it's Toby Gerhart for God's sake. Baltimore's D/ST balled out, going for 22 points (including 10.50 points from Hagoti Nagata on the individual defenders side and a pick-six from Ed Reed). Reggie Wayne went above and beyond with Andrew Luck, going for 15.50 points.

NEXT UP: Sawyer's Shinobi's vs. boondock saints; Patriots vs. Ben There Raped That

GOIN' HAM PERFORMANCE OF THE WEEK

Ben There, Raped That 137.96, Bear Down Brawlers 115.24

Matt Ryan went HAM and was the highest scoring fantasy player in the league in Week 1 with 38.46 points. Jimmy Graham (14.50)had the league-high in points for tight ends. That was enough for the commish to get off to a 1-0 start against Don and his Bear Down Brawlers. Brandon Marshall had 19.90 points in his first game back playing with his 'life partner', Jay Cutler. And expect more of the same the rest of the season from the Incredibly Gay Duo. Marshall caught nine passes and was targeted no less than 15 times, double teams be damned. Donald Brown went for a nice 10.82 to help the winning effort.

Don, I warned you. Matt Forte had a decent day for Chicago, but Michael Bush stole his goal line touchdowns (at one point Sunday Bush had three carries for two yards and two touchdowns). But it's not like anyone saw that coming … wait. Forte still went for 18 points, the ninth-best among fantasy running backs. Arian Foster was the eighth-best in the league with 19.54 points. Tony Gonzalez had a touchdown in his return to Kansas City, where he got to play in front of his grandkids. It was Grandpa's quarterback, though, that made the difference. Ben There outscored Brawlers 38.46 to 15.04 in a match-up between Matt Ryan and Philip Rivers. Carson Palmer had a team-high 19.50 points … on the Brawlers' bench. Ouch.

NEXT UP: Ben There Raped That v. Patriots; Bear Down Brawlers v. 49ers

'CAUSE BENCH POINTS MATTER TOO LOSER OF THE WEEK

Boondock Saints 138.42, 49ers 123.38

Kevin Smith, ladies and gentlemen. Smith had the third-best RB performance in the league Sunday, going for 23.10 points in Detroit's win over St. Louis. Andre Johnson was another third-best, among wide receivers, with 19.90 points. Jeremy Maclin added 15.60 points for Saints. Rex Ryan's Jets D/ST went for 19 while Mark Sanchez destroyed the Bills.

What kind of league are we playing in where Toby Gerhart gets a start and Adrian Peterson goes for two scores and 20.70 points … on the 49ers bench? Remember when everybody loved them some Rashad Jennings? Yeah, not so much anymore. Maurice Jones-Drew caved on his contract holdout and Jennings caved in fantasy value, going for just 4.00 points behind MJD. Bright spot for the 49ers? Michael Vick went for 23.88 points in a rather forgetful win over the Browns. And Pierre Garcon went off with RGIII at quarterback, scoring 18.90 points, including an 88-yard touchdown catch.

NEXT UP: Boondock Saints v. Sawyers Shinobi's; 49ers v. Beardown Brawlers

SCREWED BY A ROOKIE RB, WELL, BY ALL MY RBs of the Week

Da BearS 136.70, Chiefs 99.72

Demaryius Thomas picked up where he left off in last season's playoffs with Tim Tebow at quarterback, except this time it was Peyton Manning running an actual sustainable offense for the Broncos. Thomas went for 19 points with Manning at the helm, including five receptions for 110 yards and a 71-yard touchdown grab. Da BearS won despite Felix Jones and his goose egg. All three running backs for Da BearS performed under their projections.

The Chiefs were the only squad that didn't crack triple digits, finishing Week 1 with a pedestrian 99.72 total. Randy Moss had 10.70 points including a touchdown catch and an awesome end zone celebration. Breaking News: Trent Richardson is overrated. Richardson had 4.40 points in his fantasy debut. The Chiefs three running backs went for a combined 15.2 points in the loss. And the Chiefs making a homer pick, taking the Kansas City D/ST, went for -2.20. Who saw that coming? Oh yeah, everyone.

NEXT UP: Da BearS vs. Packers; Chiefs vs. Decatur Staleys